So sad today

Today I feel so sad ... I did not wake up this way ... I just started feeling sad on my way to work ...

I dont know what's up with me, trying to avoid the tears from falling down my face ... grrr ...

I just started feeling sad about my life, my marriage and the constant interference from my in-laws, my TTC journey ... just so sad ... I popped in by my sister last night and the first thing her and her 2 daughters asked me was am I pregnant ... I know I'm fat and I probably do look pregnant, but I'm not ...

why cant people wait for you to announce "hey I'm pregnant and we ecstatic" or "hey we TTC and will see what God has in store for us", now lay off my back and stop asking me these questions ... surely if I was I would climb the highest mountain - figuratively - to announce it ...

It would be such a gala event when I do conceive ...

Tomorrow will probably be even worse at the funeral, with eyes staring at my tummy and them whispering behind my back ... God give me strength ...

I know I have alot to be grateful for, but hell I'm human and its my right to feel sad if I want to ...

this week has not been great ... sometimes I wish I could just disappear until everyone backs off and then re-appear ... but I will probably be a coward ... after all your body just ends on earth when u die, but your spirit lives on ... its all part of God's test I guess ... He is probably just testing us and bettering us for heaven ...

PS: please think of me tomorrow ...

My week's end

Well from feeling down, to happy, to excited, to a yoyo, I'm glad this week is finally over...

Well I had so much to deal with this week. So much stress, worry and sadness. Sometimes it feels as though I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and other times I feel as if my tunnel has no end. Oh well, I hope my weekend turns out to be much better.

Just a quick update on me and my family.

Me:

Ok, apart from feeling all the mixed emotions, I'm in a space now where my marriage is getting back on track. Though we've been through so many ups and downs, I think we finally understanding each other and not expecting too much from each other. As you all know my TTC journey has been put on hold, I was excited when I was 2 days late. Oh well, maybe God wants us to focus on strengthening our marriage first.

God, please hold your hand over our marriage. Bless us, oh Lord, for only you know what we going through. Amen

R:

Well R has been through tremendous stress and its not making it easier on our marriage.
R, I know what you going through and want you to know I'm here for you, in good times and in bad.

Love you lots!

D:

Well, apart from D being my little bundle of joy, he can be very demanding sometimes - LOL.
I was so stressed this week when he fell sick. He is asthmatic and even a cold can trigger an asthma attack. I hope that the weather would stop changing so much. Well at least, he is better now. Ok, apart from all this, he had put me under more stress, by bursting a water pipe at my mom's house - LOL. My little gardner wanted to gardent and hit the water pipe with a steel rake. "Sorry mommy", D. Ok and the same night he broke the toilet and almost the bathroom window. Mr Mechanic - LOL ... so cute

D, love you lots, even if I shout at you, sorry baby.

Ok! So that's us and our update in a nutshell.

Will post how the weekend went on Monday.