I promised ...

Well I promised an update on me and R.

Well I will also include a full round up of an update, so here goes....

Me and R:

Well, we are trying to work things out. I'm trying my bestest not to think about what happened in the past, neither am I concentrating on my future, but rather living in the now. Well, all I can say is that we happy again and that we closer and most importantly that D is happy now.
God will make things right and strengthen our bond. We not, or rather I'm not concentrating too much on TTC, but R is. He is already telling me that next year this time, we'll be shopping for 2 kids.

R:

Well, he is okay and very happy that we giving us another chance. He has changed alot and doesnt want anything to do with his family. I feel sad, because after all, it's because of them that I have a husband.

Me:

I'm doing just fine. I'm in a space where nothing and no one can do harm unto me. I've got 2 men in my life whom I adore and who loves me. OH, and I cant wait for CHRISTMAS! LOL ... it's going to be fab.

D:

Very happy that me and R are back together, and has already been told that we going to try and give him a brother or sister and he is exstatic with the news. Oh and he keeps counting down the days until Christmas.

Well, that's all I can tell you. I hope from now on you guys just get to read good news, but then yet again, perfection was not carved into stone.

Mwah

Today I'm so tired.*YAWN*

Anyways have been up to quiet alot. Spring cleaning, shopping, organising our year end function at work, helping my sister move.

Thinking of New Year's resolutions, but no one ever sticks to them, so I'm thinking not to put any resolutions to next year and to take it one day at a time. Yeah right, me take it one day at a time, who am I trying to kid. Why am I always so anxious? Why do I like to be in control? I must really try and work on this. I am pushing everyone to the edge, maybe it comes with the territory. LOL

Just 8 sleeps more then its Christmas. I cant wait I'm probably more excited then Varney.

I just cant wait to see the expression on his face when he opens his gift. LOL, and he asks me everyday what it is:"Is it cars?", "Is it a pool?", LOL, all these questions. I want to still get him an MP3 player. He is quite fond of R's one.

Well, its not official yet, but yes, me and R are trying to work things out. Well this is another post in itself.

Well above is a pic of my father Christmas. He has given me much more then I could ever ask for. All thanks to the man above.

Giving thanks

As I sit here and reflect back on this past year, I believe I have alot to be thankful for.

Thankful for my family and friends, that are always by my side to guide me and listen.
Thankful for D, for being the great son he is.
Thankful for my mother, for being my pillar of strength, my shoulder to cry on.
Thankful for my cyber friends (OPM), for being the strong women they are and for always having kind words to say to me.
Thankful for R, for making me realise that Rome wasn't built in a day and that with love comes patience.
Thankful to God, for giving me all these wonderful people in my life, for blessing me with people who love me, who cares about me and blessing me with a wonderful job, a roof over my head, clothes on my back and not letting me go hungry.

So now I'm thinking this year started off bad and I let negativity control my life.
The car crash we had, the sickness, the 'infertility' problems, the family feuds, the feuds with friends, my in-laws, my marriage drama.
I let the devil get the upper hand in my life... So now I'm casting all my worries unto God.

God has been great though I let the bad times outweigh the good times. He still sits on the throne.

He has blessed me with so much already and I know He still has alot more in store for me, my family and friends.

Just a quick update on my weekend:

Me, D and R had a ball and it felt so good being together again. D and R are crazy about each other and I know R wants to be with us, but he is letting his mother control him too much.

We prayed together and we promised each other that we will finish this year off with joy and start the new year afresh.

Trust in God and His promise!

PS: thank you to all the wonderful people in my life, love you all!

My update

Well, I haven't written in a while. In fact last week Wednesday was the last time I wrote anything.

So here is my update.

Wednesday night:
We watched a movie and cuddled.

Thursday:
R prepared for Friday as he was due to appear in court for what happened the previous weekend.

Friday morning:
he kissed me and promised to love me forever
He went to court and that was the last time I saw him.

Friday night:
I lay awake waiting for him to return.

Saturday morning:
My sister called me and offered to take me and D shopping.
Went shopping and it was nice and took my mind off R.

Saturday afternoon:
tried calling R - his phone was off, started worrying that something might have happened.
Get one of R's friends who says they were together Friday night and R told him at 11 he was going home now.

Saturday night:
No R

Sunday morning:
Had to do some chores. Still no word from him.

Sunday afternoon (Our ANNIVERSARY):
Visit a friend of mine, who lives around the corner from R's mom. There he is. Sitting in his mom's yard with friends under the tree drinking.
I just looked at him and he hung his face in shame.

Sunday night:
R tried calling, but I refused to answer.

Monday:
an email from him, as usual, trying to explain what happened.

I have no tears left for him. I have no words to say to him.

I stay praying and believe that God has greater plans for me and D.

Well, that's it then.