Today I feel so sad ... I did not wake up this way ... I just started feeling sad on my way to work ...
I dont know what's up with me, trying to avoid the tears from falling down my face ... grrr ...
I just started feeling sad about my life, my marriage and the constant interference from my in-laws, my TTC journey ... just so sad ... I popped in by my sister last night and the first thing her and her 2 daughters asked me was am I pregnant ... I know I'm fat and I probably do look pregnant, but I'm not ...
why cant people wait for you to announce "hey I'm pregnant and we ecstatic" or "hey we TTC and will see what God has in store for us", now lay off my back and stop asking me these questions ... surely if I was I would climb the highest mountain - figuratively - to announce it ...
It would be such a gala event when I do conceive ...
Tomorrow will probably be even worse at the funeral, with eyes staring at my tummy and them whispering behind my back ... God give me strength ...
I know I have alot to be grateful for, but hell I'm human and its my right to feel sad if I want to ...
this week has not been great ... sometimes I wish I could just disappear until everyone backs off and then re-appear ... but I will probably be a coward ... after all your body just ends on earth when u die, but your spirit lives on ... its all part of God's test I guess ... He is probably just testing us and bettering us for heaven ...
PS: please think of me tomorrow ...
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