My friends: were not friends anymore but turned into my enemies, because I was just too jealous to face that they can fall pregnant by 'mistake', but we were struggling so long ...
My family: was, as I would say it, 'in my business', because they kept on asking why I'm not pregnant yet and all along this was only out of concern ...
My colleagues: I used to shut out every time I saw a preggy belly or when the girls on the floor would plan someone's babyshower ...
My husband: I used to get so angry with when he wasn't into or didn't feel like BDing, when he was tired, especially over my FERTILE period ... I used to throw tantrums and accuse him of all sorts of things ... YES I was a BITCH and I feel bad ...
My son: I think, no I know I neglected him, that is why he asked me "If you have a baby are you still going to buy me toys or is she going to get more things than me?" BAD BAD mom ...
I was jealous and selfish to be sooo self-absorbed in my own little battle that I neglected the people who cared about and loved me for me ... I therefore ask forgiveness from them ...
I ask them to forgive me for everything I have done, not done, said or not said that made them feel bad about who they are and what role they play in my life. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart.
Now that I have that out of the way ...
Life is all about ...
Loving:
- Love yourself: I have been making time for myself lately. Just to reflect on what I have, what I've lost, what I will love to achieve. I have even taken up hobbies, i.e. scrapbooking and reading.
- Love your family: in saying this I have and will probably still have lots more family disputes ... (Lets face it , this is what family is all about), but I don't regret any one of them. I have devoted myself as a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister and a daughter to my family. I make an effort of spending quality time with my son, my DH and especially my mother. I have forgiven those who have hurt me.
- Love your friends: As you have read above, in this dept I sucked BIG time, but I am making up for it. It used to be so bad at one stage that I would ignore phone calls, sms' and emails from them. That is how selfish I was. Hopefully from now on my friendships will blossom.
- Love UNCONDITIONAL and TRULY
Giving:
Give back to those who have given one simple thing to you ... LOVE ... give back unto them not only your family, but your friends. Give a smile to a total stranger ... giving does not always have to be materialistic ... Sometimes a simple email or phone call can brighten someone's day ...
Become a teacher:
Teach the people around you new things ... even if it is things that you yourself have just learnt ... sharing knowledge can be powerful and it brings you just so much close to the receiver ...
Planning:
not for what God has instore, but just planning your life with the one you love can be so exciting ... Dh and me are planning to start our own little business ... and it is so exciting planning something so meaningful with the one you love ...
Forgiving and asking for forgiveness:
Yes this is probably the most difficult thing to do, especially if someone whom you love has hurt you ... but nothing feels more satisfying and 'light' as for you to let go and forgive that person fully or for someone to forgive you ... You may not forget what was done ...
Positive affirmations:
Write down positive affirmations about yourself, your surroundings and those close to you and share them with those you love
last but not least ...
LIVING:
life is all about living as you dont know if you will ever live to see tomorrow as tomorrow is not promised ... Live your life to the fullest ... enjoy and capture every moment especially if you have a small memory like me ..
No comments:
Post a Comment