Monday, December 14, 2009

Be Blessed

All the days of my life are important and yet today is the only day I can claim as mine,

Yesterday is in the tomb, tomorrow is in the womb, today is really all what I have,

Today is my gift, my present to be celebrated, today is my day and I will celebrate its benefits,

Today I will be better than I was yesterday; today I will love myself to the fullest,

Yesterday’s mercies are gone but today’s were renewed this morning,

I will not be held back by my failures of yesterday, for today I have new strength and wisdom

Yesterday, I might have done only ten push-ups, but today I am equipped to do more

This is the day that the Lord has made; s I will rejoice and be glad in it

Today is the day of success; I will live this day as if it is my last

Why should I throw “now” after “maybe?”

The sun can only rise once this morning, I can’t place tomorrow’s gold in today’s purse

I will not pay interest on the debt I have not incurred

I lift my arms with praise for the priceless gift of a new day

I will maintain an attitude of gratitude in order to turn my tragedies into strategies

I have been allowed to live this extra day because there is something extra I have to do

Is this my day to excel? Is this another opportunity for me to become the person I was designed to be?

Action will be my weapon to destroy procrastination

Faith will be my shield to block the fiery darts of doubt

Love will be my sword to dismember fear

If I lift up a friend in need today, then I shall give praise to the giver of days

One thing I do know; Today is my day!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

To my friends and family ...

BEFORE YOU GUYS GO ON LEAVE,

I JUST WANT TO WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2010,

Make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the

best in what you do.

Take care of yourself. …don't wait for someone to take

care of you.

You light up your life. You drive yourself to your

destination.

No one completes you - except YOU.

There will be mistakes along the way………..but they will also be lessons…………………and u will never make the right choices without making the wrongs ones 1st.

So remember to love, laugh and live completely with no regret…………..bcoz true friends will always be there no matter what………………and in the end You alone determine your own happiness.

Have a blessed Christmas and an awesome new year!!!!! And May God be with you each step of the way.

With all my love and warm wishes

Happy holidays!!!!!!!!!!


 

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Am I being selfish?

Randy has to work overtime tonight and tomorrow ... no big deal ...

BUT, he was also told that next year they will be working overtime even more and that there will be times when they have to go away to CT or DBN to go and work there ...

I'm so sad and angry at this news ... sure I want Randy to grow and I want him to be successful ... but, I also want a baby and we have decided to go the FS route next year ... this new news means that we will have to put our TTC journey on hold again ... because

* he will be away or working overtime which means he will be tired most of the time
* because of their workload, he will not be able to make appointments when we do go see an FS
* he wants to study next year and has already enrolled which means his time for me and us will be even less than anticipated ...

I'm so dismayed at this news and am even crying while I'm typing this ...

I really do want him to succeed in life and I know we have our whole life together, but I really thought 2010 will be our year that we get blessed and extend our family ...

Monday, November 30, 2009

It's our anniversary

Well today is our 2nd anniversary and I’m so happy to have made it thus far. I remember last year we were separated and I always thought after not spending our first year together that the rest would also be so lonely and sad.

 

But, I was wrong.

 

On Friday night my DH decided to spoil me. Let me first tell you that my DH is not into chick flicks and would rather settle for an action packed movie before going for something girly, but Friday he decided to take me to see New Moon. I was in cloud nine, when he suggested we go see it. I even asked him if he was sure that he wanted to go and he said “I have to take you, you love this movie” – music to my ears.

 

SO on Friday, I was excited the whole day, not even my toothache could put me off from seeing this movie. The movie everyone had been waiting for …

 

Off we went to see the movie, when we got there we were 1st in line … the movie was supposed to start at 8.15pm, but started at 8.40pm … we bought our tickets at 7pm and decided to do window shopping while waiting for 8pm … we then made our way to the popcorn stand and when we got there it was so full … I never knew that so many people were actually following the Twilight series … well I knew lots of women loved Edward and probably wished that he or their better half would have so much passion over them as he had over Bella … I know I did and I even mentioned it to Randall … LOL … no comment

 

Anyhoo, all I can say is that I enjoyed our anniversary celebration and that I’m looking forth to many more to come …

 

To the love of my life:

 

I love you now, tomorrow and always and I’m very happy to be spending my life with you - such a remarkable man.

 

 

 

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Christmas fever ...

Well seems like everyone is being infected with Christmas ... everywhere you go people are shopping and laughing and just enjoying the season ...

Most people are shopping for gifts, for clothes, for trees and for yummy treats ...

The Christmas fever is starting to rub off me now that we drew names at work and have to buy and exchange gifts on the 22 Dec ... we will be having a Christmas Breakfast, despite having our Christmas function this past weekend ... which we really enjoyed ...

I've got so much to do still ... but I will get it all done ...

I need to:
*buy Varney's gift
*buy Randy's gift
*buy mom's gift
*buy my boss a gift ... I drew his name ...
*buy yummy treats for the kids ....

At least the other things have been taken care of ...

That's it for now ...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Word for today

Verse: 1 Samuel 30:6

But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

- In the midst of difficult times, David believed in His God.
- You and I can do the same.
- We can remind ourselves of God's goodness and be encouraged.
- Whatever happens, remember God is there and He will strengthen you.

PRAYER: Lord, I receive Your strength right now. I will remind myself of Your goodness to me, no matter what happens. Amen.

Have a great day.

Monday, November 16, 2009

A blog is a blog is a blog

I’ve always thought of a blog as a recipe … you know the stork ad where the lady says something along the lines of blogs … LOL

I really always thought that it must be recipes being shared or a secret recipe… that was until I discovered OPM where some of the ladies had blogs … I remember that Lilian was the first one to introduce us to the world of blogging … I was still scared of starting my own blog and to tell you the truth I was clueless as to where to start …

Somehow I started getting the picture that a blog is an online diary, just that if you chose too, it could become public property … for a few days I just followed her blog and remember her blog as being busy (I guess we all start of that way, I also started posting up to 3 posts a day, however this has all changed). Then I discovered Natalie’s blog and was so enticed with her blog that sometimes if she didn’t post I would get so upset … LOL following blogs used to be my daily bread until I decided to start my own one ..

At first I was confused and so scared to post anything on my blog … in fact I did not know where to start or what to base my blog on … then it hit me maybe I should blog about my life … about anything or everything … after all that is what a blog was used for right?

We started exchanging blog addresses and soon I started getting followers to my blog and I started following everyone else’s blog … it was awesome reading up on what everyone has gotten up to … it still is, although sometimes I’m too busy to follow anyone’s blog …

The gadgets we could add to our blogs was just as great … I felt like a kid in a candy shop and then I started getting addicted to creating a blog that today I have 5 blogs that I manage …

Ok so the other ones might not be open to the public, but watch this space soon it will be, especially since I can just mail my blogs, which means life or posting would be much more easier …

Why or how did you start a blog?

 

Testing, testing ... 123

Ok so I have discovered email in a whole other way and would like to test it … I am emailing my blog and would just like to see if it actually does post. This will make life so much easier … SO, here goes ….

Thursday, November 12, 2009

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz

I have been feeling so tired for the last week, by noon I cant even concentrate or keep my eyes open.

I think its got something to do with the fact that 1. I either go to bed to early ... (I normally get into bed by 9, but this past week I've been going to bed at 8 or 8.30pm, which is not so much earlier and I wake at 6) or 2. the fact that I haven't been going to gym this week.

My (.)(.) are also very EINA, especially when I lay on them. I don't think I will get a BFP this month and am not stressing too much about it, that is something I will start worrying about next year.

I cant wait for Christmas to come. I'm so in a hurry for it ... LOL and next week we will be having our year end function. We going bowling and then grabbing a bite at Spur.

Well, Varney is starting with his tantrum throwing so I will update in his blog.
Randy is still ok just stressing about his studies for next year.

And that is it ...

Friday, November 6, 2009

Finally its the weekend babe!!!

Well another week has gone by, which means we getting closer to Christmas.

I attended a workshop, on the job I do, yesterday and today and I am kapoet after all the input we had to give ...

I'm so happy its finally weekend, although its going to be a busy one ... they all have been for the last couple of months. Tomorrow I have to go shopping with my SIL and then get home and help Randy paint. So I'm hoping that Sunday will be nice and quiet.

Anyways, I think I'm in the 2WW - LOL, cause I had O pains on Wednesday evening ... my right ovary was throbbing and then yesterday I had ALOT of EWCM and off course we BD'ed ... I didn't wanna tell Randy that it might be O taking place, cause I just felt that I might be adding pressure ... hehehe ...

So maybe I will update with a BFP soon ...

PS: my ticker on OPM says I am still going to O, so will continue BD every 2nd day ...

Enjoy your weekend and keep it safe!!!

Kim

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Blogland

I have noticed that blogland has been very busy lately ... I have been reading some of my fellow bloggers blogs, but have not been able to comment on the posts ...

Lately work has been so busy ... we heading towards the silly season ... which means our ATM's will be busy until the 24th Dec and then again on 31 Dec and then everyone is BROKE and the ATM's quiet down again ...

Christmas is just around the corner ... just 7w3d to go until Christmas ... and truthfully I haven't even bought a single gift and am stressing my a$$ off here ... I know now isnt the time to think of gifts as everybody is cash strapped, but at least gifts for the special people in my life ...

Our 2nd anniversary is also coming up and we decided we not going to make a fuss about it ... we just going out for a romantic evening, but we are NOT buying gifts for each other.

I am making progress on my diet having fallen off the wagon and am back at 81kg's and so proud, but what I'm even more proud is I have eaten a choccie in 3 weeks and last night when I was offered I declined. YAY to me!!!!!!!

Varney has developed a phobia, if I can call it that, for his dad. I dont know why but it has been a month since he has gone to his dad and it makes me feel bad, cause it probably looks like I'm keeping him from them.

On the TTC front, we are just going with the flow and leaving it up to God. If it happens we will be happy, if not we will try some day again. Reason, Randy is going to study as of next year and I'm thinking of doing a mosaic course. My manager wants me to do a study programme within the company, so I'm also considering it.

We have not done any more DIY work as we have been very busy, but will start this weekend again.

Well, I think this is it ... will update again ...

lots of huggies and lovies

Kim

Thursday, October 22, 2009

AF oh AF!!!!!!!!

So the witch finally decided to make a grand entrance last night. Making my cycle 38 days long.

I am thinking of writing her a letter to notify her that she is not welcome anymore and that I wont be needing her services any longer - LOL.

In a way I'm happy to have AF, takes all the 'what ifs?' from my mind.

Will see what happens this month?!

Thanks ladies for always being here for me, I would probably be insane by now if it were not for you!!!!!!!!!


Mwah!!!

Kim
xoxoxo

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I think my body has forgotten how to make babies ...

This is my only conclusion I have now around my fertility ... that my body has forgotten how to make babies.

I mean its been almost ten years since I had a baby/conceived. So, somewhere along the line my body must have forgotten how to make a baby.

I am so tired of this TTC hell. I'm at breaking point. I need help urgently.

Here I was experiencing all these 'pseudo' symptoms, being late, the fatigue, the tender breast, the darkening areolas, the twinges ... you name it ... I had it. And still my test is a BFN!!!!!!!

Two tests later, two negative tests later I started spotting and now I'm just waiting for the witch to make a grand entrance.

I'm starting to get scared of the fact that I might never have a baby again and what scares me more is what it would do to my marriage. I don't know if we will be strong enough to make it through and this scares me so much that I often find myself crying myself to sleep.

Randy, or anyone for that matter, doesn't know how I am feeling as I don't openly talk about my 'problems'. I'm just tired of feeling so useless and insecure.

I don't know what my next step might be towards getting a baby ... I really don't know!

31 months of trying is enough!!!!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Starting over...

Well today is the day that I start from scratch with my diet. I decided I'm going to be very strict on myself and drink lots of water again.

I've been sucking at drinking water for the last 2 weeks. I was just drinking appletiser and I think it affected my kidneys or bladder. I drank citro-soda to 'flush out' my system and I'm feeling better already. I also decided to incorporate my eating plan and to make 'going to gym' part of my daily activities.

For the next four weeks I'm going to be very strict on myself as we are attending a wedding on the 31st and I just have to look good.

My eating plan for today is as follows:

B: 3 provitas with peanut butter and 1 cup of tea
S: LF yoghurt
L: roti with chicken fillet, lettuce, tomato and cheese
S: LF yoghurt
D: spaghetti and mince

Water: 1.5 litres

Exercise: 30 minutes (treadmill), 30 minutes (spinning)

With love
Kim
xoxoxo

Thursday, October 1, 2009

OUR DIY HOME PROJECT (part 1)

Now you know what I get up to on weekends ... LOL

can you see the 2 different colours?
yes, its pink and grey ...



the grey wall with the peach painting
the pink wall ... thinking of getting silver frames with some picture on this wall


the grey wall ... we thinking of moving the TV unit to this side of the lounge



we will be taking out these cupboards to make the kitchen and lounge open plan ... but for now the yellow walls match the cupboards ...


cupboards will be put in against this wall





just wanted to show you how nice the yellow goes with white ... LOL





ok ... mom's bedroom ... we putting in a new curtain rail this weekend ...




Varney's bedroom and ceiling ... still thinking of a border????



Varney's bed ... I want to put up white wooden blocks spelling out his name on this wall ...




Ok, all that needs to be done is our bedroom and the bathroom and then I will start accesorising ...
PS: part 2 will follow soon ...
Kim


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Just another chapter in my life ...

So, I decided to go back onto my pill ... WHAT A DISASTER that turned out to be ... I went onto the pill on CD1 and on CD15 AF came waltzing back into my life like the super b!@tch she is ...

I decided to continue with the pill to see if the witch would go away and I can sadly say she is still here ... note today is CD25 so which means 6 days of AF, 9 days of her leaving and then 10 days of her again ...

So I called my doc who then said that the BCP is too strong for me and that I should stop drinking it and come and see him ... well I drank my last pill on Monday and I can see she is busy packing her bags to leave me ... hopefully ALONE ... LOL

Anyhow my friend has asked me to do a HPT cause she is convinced that I am preggies but I'm not ... so I'm skipping it ...

oh and then I am PISSED at my one friend who had an abortion and then she still has the audacity to say "I had to do what I had to do, I hope u not mad" ... NO, I'm not mad ... I'm FURIOUS ... how can she just decide a healthy unborn's fate ... someone that cannot even make decisions for themselves ... if u don't want a baby keep your legs closed ... I mean you have got 2 kids already and you know where babies come from!!!!!!!!!! OK, this was just me venting.

On a lighter note ... all seems to be going well, beside AF ... Randy is happy, my angel (Varney) is happy and healthy and everything just seems to be falling into place ...

Enjoy your day off tomorrow.

Kim
xoxoxo

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Long time no post ...

Well I have to admit I have been VERY sluggish with updating my blog ... I have just been so busy ...

after my uncle's funeral I was booked off sick with flu and when I got back we were short staffed so been very hectic on my side ...

Besides, being back at work I have kicked my diet to the curb again and I feel so bad for doing that ... about 5% of me blames my Randy, 10% of me blames my flu and 20% of me blames myself ... but hey I still feel great ...

and I cant complain about the 5% cause right now I'm being treated like a queen ... getting flowers, and teddy's, and cakes, and romantic lunches and suppers ... so hey a girl really cant complain about that ...

to my fellow bloggers ... ASKIES for not following your blogs for the last 2 weeks ... I am definitely going to catch up tomorrow ...

speaking of tomorrow ... seeing that I was sick last week we only having our Spring braai tomorrow ... so nice of my boss to wait until I'm back at work and then having it ...

Ok, you probably want to hear what we have been up to so here goes ...

Randy: loving and still so handsome and sexy ... LOL ... ok still the King in my life and still spoiling me rotten ...
Varney: still so cute and growing at such a rapid pace ... oh BTW ... watch out on his blog as I update on his relationship with his dad ... seems like I'm losing my son ... he sleeps over at his dad's every weekend ... I'm so jealous, but part of me doesnt want to restrict him too much ... his rooom is nearly done so will post some pictures as well ...
Me: doing well ... still have a runny nose and irritating cough but still on 80kg's ... so happy that I didnt pick up ... oh ja and I'm on the pill for this month and next month ... but you probably saw on my ticker ...

Mom, grandma and aunt seems to be coming to terms with the loss of my uncle, I'm really glad all the prayers worked ...

Well until I write again ...

Cheerio and lots of love
Kim
xoxoxo

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Just a note ...

to update you all on the happenings in my life ...

This past weekend we lost my uncle (mom's brother). He was like a dad to us when mom and dad split, so all of us are taking it very hard, especially mom and grandma.

He lost his wife about 4 years ago and now it was his turn to go. It was so sudden, despite the fact that he was in hospital, but that was due to the fact that his leg was amputated on Thursday. He was still doing well on Friday when we went to visit him and he looked so handsome and at peace and he still made us laugh at his jokes and funny comments. He passed away on Saturday and it was horrible seeing my mom crying so much, that she couldn't even speak or breath properly.

Randall, is the best! He is so caring and so supportive during our time of grief. He is so concerned about mom and even took us out for the day on Sunday to take our minds off things.

We finally tiled the 2 bedrooms on Saturday, so it just our bedroom that needs to be tiled and then we have to paint and then we move to the bathroom. This DIY project of ours is so much fun and Varney is enjoying it himself.

He is also doing so much better and he was also in tears, but I think it was mainly because he saw my mom cry so much.

This coming weekend is the funeral, so I will most probably update after the funeral.

To all the special OPM angels:

THANKS FOR THE KIND WORDS AND PRAYERS. IT IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED.

Lots of love
Kim
xoxoxo

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Today ...

we bid farewell to my friend's baby girl born prematurely at 24 weeks ... she only lived for 14days before God fetched her ...

I know he has greater plans for her and that he needed more angels, but it was very sad ... it felt as if I had lost a baby ...

my friend and her family were in tears as they passed little K's coffin ... she looked like an angel, all dressed in white and so peaceful ...

I know I have not walked the road of a miscarriage or a prem baby or a stillborn, but my heart broke for her ...

That is why I wanted to let all my Internet buddies know that I take my hat off to you ladies ... D, Eve, Mandy, Mandri, Bel, Lilian, Tammi, Lilly, Ilze, Nix, etc. you ladies are really strong and I respect you for going through your journey and still being the kind-hearted and loving ladies that you are ... still giving me support and advice ... still being what you have always been - YOURSELF!!!

Stay as sweet as you are ...

Love you lots
Kim

Friday, August 14, 2009

This weekend

is gonna be HUGE fun ...

Tonight we going to be home and play board games the whole night ...
Tomorrow it is down to painting again and if there is time, to go look for the wall stickers
Sunday we going to church and then the afternoon we going out for ice-cream ...

I'm going to be taking pictures of our 'diy' project ...

I went to look for wall stickers at Discount Cash and Carry, but unfortunately they dont have ...

Uhm, what else ... *think, think, think* oh ja, I'm definitely doing my Hip Hop Abs this weekend and will rest on Sunday and uhm ... sjoe I cant remember ... old age I tell ya

Anyways, I hope each and everyone enjoy your weekend with your families ...

Until Monday ...

Mwah

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

An award


Thanks Karien for making my day and giving me an award for my blog.


I really appreciate it ... mwah
The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are: Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
I am now passing this on to my fellow bloggers:
Mandy-Leigh at Where's my baby
Melanie at Life happened
Twinkles at The whole 9 yards
Mandri at POAS addict
Natalie at Almost there
Kandis at Life and stuff
Rentia at Supermom
Lilian at The road to victory

Friday, August 7, 2009

Sometimes honesty is the best policy ...

SO, some of you guys have noticed that I haven't been blogging and instead that the last 2 posts on my blog has been very emotional posts from Randall ...

Well, I'm the kind of person who doesn't like talking and opening up when I've got problems. Somehow everything and everyone that surrounds me is just so perfect that I often compare my life to theirs.

Anyways, I've once again got marriage problems and I'm tired of hiding it and bottling up that I just feel this urge to open up and at least blog about it. I know no one is perfect and sometimes, ok most of the time I expect too much from my marriage and from people in general and when I don't get it, I explode and block you out of my life. That is just the kind of person I am.

I admit that I do have a problem, although it might not be a physical problem it is an emotional one. I am aware that I have been carrying around this problem for more than a year now. I have alot of emotional baggage and that is why I trust no one. I don't believe anything you might tell me, because I believe that everyone is out to hurt me and break me down.

When I went on course a few months back, we did a questionnaire regarding your social circle, family, etc. and I had the lowest scores, because I'm still clinging to the past. I am STILL living in the past. All the heartache, all the scars, all the tears are packed into this bag that I am walking and carrying around.

I listen tentatively to other people complaining and hey, I'll even advice you, but I wont practice what I preach and this is my downfall. I picture myself happy, but I'm too scared to open up, let go and grab the happiness I picture. I would rather just say or think about how happy other people are, but I will never ever go out and live that happiness.

This is ruining alot in my life ... my friendships, my relationships with my family, my relationship with my son and EVEN my marriage. I'm afraid to take risks because of this. I think I have endured and seen too much heartache that I just crawl back into my shell and wait for things to get better instead of making things better.

Another one of my downfalls, I will always put other people's happiness before my own. I will never ever put myself first, no matter how much I deserve it, I cant do it.

I attract negativity, because I am always setting myself up for the day that I get hurt or disappointed. I even picture my actions and even revise my wording for that face-to-face interaction we will have when the line gets crossed.

I know I need help seriously and blaming is out and choices are in, because I choose to be unhappy and I chose this situation. I know I can do something about this and admitting to my problem is the first step I needed to take.

I want to make the best out of everything and I can only do this with a strong support structure. Someone or everyone keeping me on my toes. I want every aspect in my life to be a 10/10 situation: my marriage, my life, my relationship with my son, my relationship with my family, my friendships (cyberly and in reality) and most importantly my relationship with God.

I want to move forth and let go and I want to, no I WILL start as of today.

Until I write again ...
Kim

Friday, July 31, 2009

Now I was supposed to be a man about it.
Shoulda never left your side.No way, no how.
Put too many years in this relationship.And it's not that serious for us to split.
Now I admit sometimes I make mistakes.But still I appreciate the love we make.
Now Kim please can we work this out.
Now I might say you can walk(But I don't mean it).
And I may tell you we're through(But I don't mean it, no, no).
Now I was supposed to be more understanding.Instead of tryin to be so damn demandin.
Kim I'm willing to drop my ego.And do the things I should have done and more.
See I know that I can be a better man .
Kim all you gotta do is take my hand.Promise this time,I'm goin all the way.
And show you all the reasons why you should stay.
See I never meant to break you down and make you cry.
Oh please Kim please turn back around don't you say goodbye.
Sometimes I know that I can take it Just a little bit too far,but my heart is good.
So Kim you don't have to worry.You're gonna see a change.Kim you know I love you.Even though I may not say it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

How could i??

How could i let things get so far.
How could i loose the only part of my life that made sense.

How could i hurt the only person who truly loved me.

How could i loose a love so precious.

How could I?

My whole life i've been looking for her.

My whole life i've been dreaming of her.

My whole life i've wanted to know who this angel will be...

My whole life i've wanted to know who's heart i will have.

and who will have mine.

Finally i could put a face on this angel.

i could see who is gonna take care of my heart.

i could see who was gonna take care of my love.

i could see who's heart i finally

was gonna have to protect.

why did i break this trust.

Why did i break this persons heart.

Why did i do what i did.

How could i loose my angel.

How could i loose my angels heart.

How could i loose my angels trust.

How could i loose her.

Why......

Friday, July 24, 2009

TGIF ... whoop whoop










Well today I feel better, although I have this headache. Nothing new on my side ....




anyways here is menu for today:




B: DF and a cup of tea


S: cup of soup


L: chicken and salad


S: Low GI popcorn


D: dunno ... but will be a healthy choice



Water: 2ltrs




I am going to really stick to my diet this weekend then next week I can have a break as it is my birthday and I'll eat what I want to ...








The gym called me yesterday, seems like I will start on Monday and they gonna give me a tour. Randy is going to get a backpack with goodies for referring me. I will have to go to the shops to buy me sportsbra's because I dont have any ... otherwise its gonna be a big problem ...








Tomorrow D's school has a parents day where we get to view to schoolbooks and chat to the teacher about his progress, etc. We are also going to get his report card and have decided that if he has improved we will take him out for the day to a movie and a bite to eat.






I'm also going to spend the afternoon with D so will take a picture of her preggy belly ... LOL


On Sunday we just going to chill and watch some movies ... we bought quite a few movies ... so it is something worth looking forward to ...

Anyways I hope everyone has a splendid weekend!!!!!!!!


Lotsa love
Kim
xoxoxo

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Today


I feel so sad and despondent ... I don't know why ... and to top it off I lost a kg so I should really be very happy ...


I don't have much of a menu today:


B: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 slice cheese, cup of tea

S: DF

L: don't know yet ... didn't pack lunch

S: don't know

D: don't know ...


LND: vetkoek and mince


Water: 2ltrs


My motivation for today:


Infertility and obesity
Date updated: January 29, 2007
Hillary M. Wright, R.D., L.D.N
Content provided by Revolution Health Group
Almost every day, there are news updates on the intensifying obesity epidemic in the United States. Currently, about 65% of Americans are either overweight or obese — an increase of 25% over the last 30 years — and the numbers continue to climb.
Women with a body mass index greater than 25 are considered overweight, and those with a value above 30 are considered obese.Most people know that being overweight raises the risk of almost every major health problem, including cardiovascular disease, diabetes and some cancers. What hasn’t gotten as much attention is the fact that both obesity and being overweight can affect fertility as well.
Research has shown that a disproportionate number of women (about 40%) who seek infertility treatment are overweight or obese. A study involving more than 5,000 infertile women who were treated at an infertility clinic in Australia found that 23% of the subjects were considered overweight and 17%, obese. The results were published in the October 1995 issue of the journal Human Reproduction.Research also ties obesity to poorer outcomes in women who undergo in vitro fertilization (IVF).
For example, another study in the July 2005 issue of Human Reproduction tracked some 8,500 women who underwent IVF in the Netherlands and found that those who were overweight or obese had a significantly lower success rate of having a live birth as compared to normal-weight women. What’s the link?One common finding in obese women with fertility problems is a tendency towards abdominal obesity, or an “apple-shaped” body. Exactly how excess body fat affects fertility is not completely understood, but obesity is known to influence reproductive function in several ways:
* Obese women are more likely to menstruate irregularly or not at all. This is due to the presence of excess subcutaneous fat that produces large amounts of the estrogen hormone.
* Obese women are more likely to have problems with successful ovulation and a poorer response to fertility drugs.
* Obese women are at increased risk for miscarriage, both spontaneously and after infertility treatment.
* Obese women are also at higher risk of pregnancy-related complications such as gestational diabetes, hypertension and preeclampsia or toxemia, which poses a threat to both the mother and developing fetus.
* In addition, many obese infertile women suffer from a hormonal disorder called polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
PCOS is a major cause of infertility and is thought to affect 5% to 10% of women of reproductive age. Many researchers believe that the underlying problem in PCOS is that although insulin levels are normal, there is insulin resistance, a primary cause of type 2 diabetes. This is worsened by excess weight. It impacts fertility because the insulin resistance causes elevated circulating insulin levels that result in hormonal imbalances in the ovaries. These hormonal imbalances can then interrupt the normal cycle of ovulation and make it difficult to conceive.
Maintaining normal reproductive function requires a complex balance of sex hormones. Being overweight can upset this balance — with or without PCOS — and contribute to infertility in several ways:
* Excess abdominal fat can increase production of androgens, which are male sex hormones that are normally present in small amounts in normal women. Their levels need to stay consistent for normal ovulation to occur. If androgen levels soar, ovulation may be disrupted and conception cannot occur
* Excess body fat can trigger imbalances of the hypothalamus and pituitary hormones in the brain that are needed for normal ovulation.
* Even without a full diagnosis of PCOS, an obese woman can still have insulin resistance that leads to increased levels of circulating insulin. With more insulin in circulation, the balance of sex hormones in the ovaries can be disrupted, interfering with the delicate reproductive hormonal balance needed to trigger ovulation and contributing to infertility.
Not just a female problem
According to a recent study from the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences (NIEHS) that involved more than 5,500 couples, men who are overweight or obese are also more likely to experience infertility than normal-weight men regardless of their age. The results were published in the September 2006 issue of Epidemiology.
An earlier study published in the May-June 2006 issue of the Journal of Andrology — the first study of male weight and couple fertility — suggested that male obesity can also cause hormone imbalances and might even lower a man’s sperm quality. Although more research is needed, findings from the NIEHS, a part of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Md., suggest that every 20-pound increase in a man’s weight increases his risk of infertility by roughly 10%.
Rate your weight
In the past, doctors used weight charts to help determine whether a person was within a healthy weight range. Now they use a new method called body mass index, or BMI.
BMI is calculated using your weight and height and can help doctors determine whether someone might be carrying enough excess fat to be considered a health risk
For adults older than 20, BMI results are interpreted using standardized categories that are the same for both men and women:
BMI Weight Status
Below 18.5 Underweight
18.5 - 24.9 Normal
25.0 - 29.9 Overweight
30.0 and above Obese
While BMI is considered a good assessment tool for most people, some healthy individuals (for example, professional athletes) may rate as overweight because they have excess muscle contributing to their weight.
If your BMI puts you in the overweight or obese category and you’re having difficulty conceiving, you may want to talk to your doctor about whether excess weight could be a factor.
Lose weight, improve your fertility
The good news is that even modest amounts of weight loss can have a positive effect on fertility. “Weight loss of as little as 10% to 15% will enhance a woman’s chances of conceiving by normalizing sex hormone levels,” says weight researcher and reproductive endocrinologist David Ryley, M.D., of Boston IVF in Massachusetts.
So, for instance, a woman who weighs 200 pounds can increase her chances of conception by losing 20 to 30 pounds.
An important, added weight-loss bonus, according to Ryley, is that “obstetric complications such as pregnancy-induced hypertension and gestational diabetes will be reduced.”
However, a word of caution: Women who are too thin also have trouble getting pregnant. So the best approach is to maintain a healthy weight (i.e., one that is appropriate for your height and lifestyle).
Take action
Losing weight permanently happens in different ways for different people. Still, according to the Brown Medical School-based National Weight Control Registry, a database that chronicles the habits of more than 5,000 “successful losers” who’ve lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year, people who win the weight battle share some common habits:
* Most registry participants maintain a low-calorie, lower-fat diet by adding fruits and vegetables, restricting certain foods, counting calories or using different types of portion control plans. Many keep food journals.
* Participants rarely skip breakfast, and most eat small meals 4 to 5 times per day.
* Seventy-five percent of participants weigh themselves at least weekly. If the needle on the scale creeps up, they fine-tune their eating and exercise habits in response.
* Most participants accumulate close to an hour of exercise every day, with walking being the most common form of activity.
* Here are some simple steps you can take to get your own weight loss rolling in the right direction:
* Move, move, move. Both long periods of exercise and short bouts of activity accumulated over the day are effective for weight loss.
* Spread out your food intake. Extreme hunger can lead to rapid overeating that leaves you feeling “stuffed.” Eating smaller meals throughout the day can help you avoid big pangs of starvation — and the associated binging.
* Aim for 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables every day. They’ll help you feel full without loading you down with calories. Add a fruit to breakfast, munch on raw vegetables and fruits as snacks and include salads or cooked veggies with other meals.
* Watch your portions. Aim for a “healthy plate” that’s about half noncarbohydrate types of vegetables and fresh fruits, with the remaining half split between lean proteins (lean meat, skinless poultry, seafood, tofu or beans) and whole grains (brown rice, whole wheat pasta or whole-grain bread).
* Be selective about what you’re eating. Don’t just eat something because it’s there — make conscious food choices. If you shift into “eating overdrive” under pressure, talk to an expert about stress management strategies that don’t involve food.
Stay positive
The thought of trying to lose weight while enduring the stress of infertility may seem overwhelming, but don’t lose hope. Even small lifestyle changes that result in modest weight loss may be enough to help you conceive — and experience a healthier pregnancy.
After all, your desire to have a baby may be just the motivation you need to develop healthier habits!
Kim
xoxoxo

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Motivation




Do u sometimes feel that you are alone in this race called dieting?


Do u feel like giving up?


Does it sometimes feel like you getting nowhere (weight-wise)?




Well girls, sometimes or most of the time I feel this way ... that is why I decided to post something motivational today ...
WEIGHT LOSS MOTIVATION


Motivation is one of the most important factors which determines how successful we are at what we do. It is the driving force that gives us the will to accomplish tasks and eventually succeed at
reaching an ultimate goal. Motivation levels can vary each day depending on how we feel, or how we view certain experiences. For anyone to succeed at slimming motivation will be the most important part to work at, it will provide us with the determination to get up and exercise even if we don't feel up to it. Motivation also drives us to stick to the low fat selections and recipes required to keep our progress moving.
The strength of your motivation will determine how successful you are in your
weight loss efforts as the more you progress and lose weight the more difficult it will be to lose more as the body is pushed past its natural set points. Many top conditioning coaching admit that its possible to gain amazing results when an individual's motivation is high, even if the training program is not "scientifically correct".

DEVELOPING WEIGHT LOSS MOTIVATION

Most dieters will have some degree of motivation as they have already decided to take action. The problem for many is keeping the levels high enough to prevent any relapse.
Work through some of the following ideas and see if these can increase your desire for success!


LEARN TO ACCEPT SELF:

The most common reason people lose interest in exercise / dieting is due to unrealistic goals. Some see the images in the media or television and this coveys the message of how we are supposed to look, adverts enforce these images with false promises like "you too can have a body like this!", and we believe it! When the desired
goals aren't reached we're made to believe we have failed.
We need to put these
images into prospective and realise that most of the population just do not have the genetic predisposition to look like the models in the magazines, plus most images are now adjusted by computers to look better than they actually are.
Learn to love yourself for who you are, not who you wish to be. Acknowledge that you need to improve your health or weight, but believe that you will do what you can to be the best you can possibly be. The constant pressure and stress of trying to turn yourself into someone you physically cannot be will stop, and it'll be an enormous weight off the shoulders, you'll be surprised at how good it will make you feel and how this can help drive your motivation to make realistic improvements. When we understand and appreciate our bodies, we are able to work with them, not against them!


FOCUS ON POSITIVES NOT NEGATIVES:

Many of us have a tendency to look at our bad points, however once you start to accept yourself it will be easier to focus on the positive side more. To make it easier try writing a list of all the good things in what you've done or what you like about your physical self. Practice running these positives through your mind regularly, it may take time but its surprising what you can believe if it is said enough times - remember the past believe that you could look like the models if you obtain
the right diet!

if you don't reach a goal when you want, just focus on the fact that you will get there in time
remember how far you've got not how far you need to go
if you miss a
workout one day don't worry just go back with more vigour to improve
remind yourself that a worthwhile pay-off lies ahead in an improved you
remember the exercise is improving your health and fitness and will help increase longevity
remember exercise has many psychological benefits including renewed confidence and self esteem
any type of action always drives motivation
To
boost motivation some dieters need to development of a different "mind set". For some people hypnotherapy has work really well to help gain more control over the mind!

SET GOALS:

Setting goals has the advantage of focusing on what you intend to achieve. A goal acts as a form of mental contract with yourself and your degree of motivation will drive you to complete that contract. If the goal is too hard to achieve it can affect your success. The subconscious mind does not distinguish between big or little, it only knows success or failure. If you set a goal of four training sessions each week but only complete three then the mind sees this as a failure. For this reason you must set realistic and easily reachable goals. When you attain each goal it gives momentum to increase the level of motivation further.

Try these tips:
* write down your goals
* set easy goals often so you create a habit of success in the mind
* set measurable goals - I will lose 1 pound each week. This gives you something to go for
* tell friends and family about your goals for motivational support
* make any routine fun and exciting to help maintain interest
* try new challenging goals to stop your normal routine from becoming a chore
* reward your success on reaching a goal
* think positively, replace thoughts like "I can't" with "I can and I will"
* don't set goals that are too much too soon

This is my menu for today:




B: 1cup WW pronutro, 1 cup LF milk, 3 provitas, 500ml water.


8 o' clock: 1 cup of tea


Snack: LF yoghurt and a banana


Lunch: grilled chicken breast with boiled veggies (carrot, baby marrow, potato, broccolli)


Snack: DF


Supper: don't know yet ...


Water: aiming for 2 litres ...
Hope you enjoyed today's post!!!
PS: weighing in tomorrow
Kim
xoxoxo

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Diet schmiet ...

so I have started the diet fuel and I have to say it doesn't taste bad at all ... everyone was preparing me for this yucky disgusting taste ... LOL or maybe I'm just different ...

ok cool so my menu is as follows:

B: WW pronutro, LF milk, cup of tea and a naartjie
S: DF and a banana
L: don't know yet ... craving chicken and veggies
S: LF yoghurt and a naartjie
D: steamed fish, mixed veggies and a baked potato

take care ...

Kim
xoxoxo

Monday, July 20, 2009

I'm bad ...

ok before I have a mental argument with myself ...

I'm bad cause I cheated this weekend starting on Friday ... Randy wanted KFC so we bought KFC for supper ... everything was going exceptionally well and then I gave in .. just like that ...without even blinking ...

so I decided I really need to get my mind and body into shape and was considering using GI Lean products, but then I decided on Herbalife, but I eventually opted for USN dietfuel ...

I bought myself a 2kg bottle/tin and am going to start using it as of tomorrow ... 'if at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again" and its exactly what I'm going to do ...

Randy bought me a track pants and a running shoe so I might just join the gym sooner rather than later ... watch this space ...

Kim
xoxoxo

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Before I forget

I have been so consumed with work today, its not even funny ... I have my own work to do, I'm standing in for this dude that is on leave and then my manager still has the nerve to email me his work?

Anyhow, complaining wont help now would it ...

I weighed in this morning and I am 500g down ... YAY ... it sounds little, but look at it this way ... 500g is as big a brick of butter ... so it is actually alot ... yesterday was O day, but I was too tired to BD, besides its so cold ... LOL

OK my menu today has been kinda banged up, that is because I was so hard at work this morning:

Breakfast @ 10am:
1 egg
2 rashers bacon
mushrooms
grilled tomato
2 slices wholewheat toast
1 cup of tea

Snack @ 12pm:
2 slices watermelon
2 slices pineapple
500ml water

Skipping lunch ... still feel okayish

Snack @ 3 pm:
grapes
100ml lf yogurt
500ml water

Dinner:
Don't know but Randy mentioned something of tuna salad and potato wedges ...

Water unlimited ...

Mwah ...

Kim
xoxoxo

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Craving ...

cheese & onion samoosas ... mmm ... :-(

I CAN DO THIS!!!
I CAN STICK TO MY DIET!!!!

Ok ... my menu before I change my mind ... LOL ...

Breakfast:
1 cup of oats
1/2 cup low fat milk
2 sugars
1 glass of water
1 cup of tea

Snack:
apple & naartjie
500ml water

Lunch:
1 avo
provitas
1 cup of tea

Snack:
low fat yoghurt
special K bar
500ml water

Dinner:
dont know yet ...

Tomorrow is D-Day!!!

Kim
xoxoxo

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I am ..

  • actually getting the hang of this lifestyle change ...
  • loving the new me
  • enjoying my food
  • not a coffeeholic anymore
  • drinking more tea
  • still trying to increase my water intake
  • joining the gym in August ...

I am so proud of myself and cant wait to see how much I weigh on Thursday when I weigh again ...

ok so last night I had only half of my homemade twister/chicken wrap

My menu (Randy is joining in today)

B: 1 cup Allbran flakes and 1 cup lf milk 1 cup tea

S: 1 lf yoghurt

L: 1 homemade chicken wrap/twister

S: 1 naartjie and a handful of peanuts

D: homemade veggie soup with 2 rye bread (Varney is sick and requested soup)

Other: 1lt water/1 energade

Enjoy your day ...

Mwah

Kim

xoxoxoxo

Monday, July 13, 2009

What a weekend ...

Well, on Saturday we had a funeral ... my mother's sister-in-law ... and after the funeral the family got together at my grandma's house ... we organising a family reunion ... funny how we always do that whenever we had a funeral in the family ... anyhow ... diet-wise all went well on Saturday ... stuck to it, but yesterday is a whole different story ...

back to Saturday, my brother got a call while we were at my granny's to say his GF was in a car accident ... we then had to rush to the scene to check what went on ... luckily nobody got hurt seriously ... she just hurt her leg ... so we went to the police station to report it and then had to wait for them to come to the scene ... poor service I tell u ... and then we took her to the hospital ... we then went home at 7.30pm ... and went straight to bed ...

yesterday morning we got news that Randy's cousin passed on in a car accident on Saturday night ... so we attending another funeral this weekend ... Randy is taking it so hard and shutting me out ... I feel so useless as a wife to him ...

OK here is my menu for today (Randy not on my plan today):

Breakfast:
1 cup wholewheat pronutro
1 cup low fat milk
1 cup black coffee

Snack:
low fat yogurt
peanuts

Lunch:
Fish, baked potato and green salad

Snack:
100g dried fruit
apple

Dinner:
Home-made twister ...

other:
1lt water
rooibos tea

PS: please pray for us during this tough time ...

PPS: thanks Marthie for the tips ... mwah

Kim
xoxoxoxo

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